Well, right now I really have no idea what to write, but I think another blog entry for me has been long in coming, so here goes.
Right now, I’m at a weak point in my life. My spiritual life is in shambles, at least, as far as I’m concerned. I know shambles is a bit of an extreme description; it really isn’t that bad, but considering I know that it’s quite far away from where it could and should be, I realise I’ve got a whole lot of work to do.
During my first semester at NCU I made the realization that my relationship with God could use a bit of work. Part of that realization came because of my roomate, friend, and sister (adopted sister that is- even though people say we do look alike). Sometimes I would look at her spending time reading her bible and in worship with God. I’d listen to her talk to God as if He truly were a close and personal friend. I started to work on my relationship with Christ and made a great deal of progress. I truly got closer to God during fall semester, but spring semester was a different story. I did some serious regressing. I got to a stage worse than where I was before. My religious life was almost non-existent. I went to church and dorm worship, yes, but I was simply going through the motions. Personally, there was nothing. Spiritually, I was drained. I realised something during that time. It is something I always knew, in theory, but never really understood.
What did I realise? I can’t live my life without Christ. Without Him, my life is worth nothing. The trials I went through at that time were almost unbearable.
I started working on my relationship. It was quite difficult I tell you. When the devil sees you making an effort to draw nearer to God, he holds on tight, but I made progress. I still had trials. They were still of great magnitude too, but I could deal, because I had God.
Unfortunately, I started to see some movement in the wrong direction again. When the devil wants your life he tries hard, and he wont give up until he’s got you trapped. I’m trying though. Pray for me as I pray for myself that I may bring my relationship to the place the Lord would have it to be. I know it’s a progress, and I will never reach perfection in this life, but pray that I may reach a new level in my spiritual life, and that I may maintain that level and continue to grow. I look forward to seeing you in heaven, so pray for me as I pray for you.
Oh Lord my God, how excellent is Thy name in all the earth. Lord I love You because You have first loved me and I praise You because You alone are worthy of praise. Lord, thank You for Your blessings on me. I thank You for all You have done for me; for all of us. I thank You for Your grace and mercy. I am so undeserving, but You bestow them anyway. Draw me closer to You Lord I pray.
Please help me as I strive to be more like You. Please bless my family, my friends, my associates. Bless each person who may be reading this right now. Draw them close to You as well. Those who don’t feel the need for You, please impress upon them the fact that they are nothing without You. Those who long for You as much as I do, please grant their request.
I love You Lord and I dedicate myself to You once more today. Be with me and use me in Your will, I pray.