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My fear…

People often ponder their fears,
and how they can overcome them. Every time I have been asked about my fears in
the past, I’ve never been able to come up with anything. I had the thought that
I must not be afraid of anything. But everyone is afraid of something… aren’t
they?

I have finally found my fear. Last
Friday night at Fusion vesper service, we were asked to write down one hope,
and one fear. I had trouble finding something to write down on the paper, and by
time we were ready to pray, the others in my group all had their one hope and
one fear, while I only had one hope written. Only later did I figure out what I
was afraid of. I’m afraid of my fear… I tend to be shy at times, and I tend
to sometimes be afraid about doing even the simplest things at times. I know I
have leadership abilities but I’m afraid to use it. It’s so much easier to
follow. Sometimes I think of myself as being lazy to do some things, but
although that may be true to an extent, I’m beginning to think that I’m often
more afraid, and don’t even notice it. And I’ve realized that I’m afraid of
that fear. I’m afraid that I’ll be too afraid of doing the simple things,
afraid of stepping out, afraid of trying new things and afraid of making
changes that I’ll miss out in some respects on God’s purpose for my life.

Jabez prayed in 1 Chronicles 4:10,
“Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand
would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause
pain!”.

I want this to be my prayer too,
but, ‘enlarge my territory’? I’m used to my territory. It’s safe. It’s
comfortable. It’s me. What if I don’t like the new territory God has in store
for me? What if it’s difficult? What if I can’t do it? It’s a scary thought.

I don’t want to be afraid of my
fear. I don’t want that fear there that would prevent me from truly reaching
the potential the Lord has placed in me.

 

DADDY God, please help me. I don’t
want to be afraid anymore. I want to be brave. I know that on my own it’s
impossible. But Lord, when I’m weak, I know You are my strength. When I’m
afraid, I know that You are there to protect me, that You’ll pick me up when I
can’t walk anymore, that You’ll carry me on Your big broad shoulders. I know
that You’ll guide me when I don’t know the way, and You won’t allow me to fall
into harm. Please help me not to be afraid. Help me to put my faith completely
in You, and like a little child, depend totally on You. Help me when I’m afraid
to remember that whatever I’m doing, I’m not alone, because You are there with
me, and You will always be with me. Finally Lord, fulfill Your purpose in me.
Thank You Jesus.

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One thought on “My fear…

  1. Oh… this is very Good blog. Afraid of your fears. Well finally you hae an answer for you\’re fear. But that just shows you how couragous you are too. After this you can open up and let your light shine even more. Thats is something even for others including my self of course to think about, and a pray for everyone to say, to help find who they are… their place, and use thier full potential.

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