Heart Problem

Dear God,
I have a heart problem. It’s not clean. Sometimes this problem does not manifest itself. I act as if my heart it clean. I live my life as if I’m normal, I’m fine, almost as if I’m cured. Then, now and again, my heart problem acts up. My impurity surfaces, and I end up realising I’m not as healthy as I thought. Earlier in my disease, I tended to get very upset and worried about my heart problem. I’d schedule an appointment with You, my Great Physician, for healing. I’d think that I’d been healed. Time would pass, I’d let my guard down and get off my medication, and again my heart would act up, as once again impurity reared its ugly head. More recently, my heart would act up, and it would do little more than ruffle my feathers, more like a slight inconvenience than a deadly disease. I would visit the doctor halfheartedly, while not feeling as if I really needed Him. After all, other persons have more debilitating conditions than I. My condition could not be that bad. It only happens once in a while. Really, truly, I’m not sick. Am I?

Guess what, I am sick. Spiritually sick. God, I have been desensitized to my sin. It’s a sin that plagues me internally. Others may not see, but You and I know that it’s there. It’s a heart problem. I guess the first step is admittal. Lord, I have a problem that needs to be solved. Fix it for me Jesus. I’ve almost come to enjoy my heart problem. It’s part of me right? The way you made me, right? Wrong. My problem comes as a result of sin. As You wish to rid sin from the world, so rid this sin from me. So, the next step is giving it up. I give it to You. This is the painful part. I don’t want it anymore. You don’t want me to have it. Take it. The third is empowerment for change. When I feel my heart  about ready to act up, I need to run to my doctor for some preventative medicine.

Heal me Lord. Take this curse away. Empower me Lord to change. Help me live higher than my sins. And when I fail, help me to recognize that sin is sin, help me to confess, clean me up, then pick me up on my feet again, and empower me once more. Thank You Jesus.


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